Score: 10

"Absolutely inspiring series."

submission: Dress my Babe 6

date: February 20, 2008

Hey, man. I want to give you utmost congratulations on bringing such an unparalleled entry to conclude your awesome DMB series. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Here's a true story about my own Flash work.

When I created a dress-up for NG, it was just a humble endeavor between myself and somebody else. While making it, I hardly even contemplated putting it up on this site. But I did, and ever since, I've realized that this DMB 5 entry was still reigning far superior to everything else.

Maybe it's just my competetive nature, but I worked really hard on a second dress-up game to have an interface and layout that sought to rival it. In my mind, the ultimate goal was to have an entry that met and exceeded the technical execution of your previous entry. So for setting the bar, and pushing me to higher quality, I thank you.

Yet not a month after submission...comes this.

Good sir, I tip my hat to you. I know when I've been bested, and when a man deserves absolute credit for his hard work. Bravo. DMB 6 far exceeds anything in the Dress-Up gallery by a long shot, and why the cats at NG didn't put it at the very top of the listing is beyond me. It is my sincerest belief that's where this game belongs.

Again, best of luck in your movie enterprise. This is a fantastic end to a fantastic, truly motivating series. While there's a part of me that demands me to again push and push to meet and exceed this title's quality, I'd rather leave this gem to stand alone as it deserves to reign.

Score: 4

"Nothing spectacular."

submission: Prison Throw

date: March 31, 2007

It has been done before, and done a lot better. This one is slow, nearly painful to watch, and has almost no challenge to it at all. I just don't feel a sense of accomplishment while I'm playing. Also, I'm having some major lag issues while playing, and I'm guessing it's because you have your sound set to stream instead of event, or you have movie clips shooting off into near infinity, or maybe even a large culmination of infinite loops within the programming.

Is there even an end condition? I couldn't get my guy to stop. Ever. Even the cops, whom you're supposed to avoid, give the biggest boosts.

So, sorry bud. I see capability graphically and script-wise, but as a gameplay concept, this one hardly gets off the ground.

2/5.

Score: 9

"Gameplay can be like a chore, but still rewarding."

submission: Rocket Car

date: March 27, 2007

I feel that this game has good rhythm and feel to it. I particularly enjoy the simple controls of it, making it easy for even the most casual of gamers to get into it. It also has some pretty solid physics supporting it, and I'm certain that the creation of even more levels would be a snap if need be.

I do think that a certain showcase of progress would greatly benefit the title. Tell the player how many levels remain before reaching the end of the game, and at the start, let them choose the level they want to play on (later levels must be unlocked by playing or passcode entry, something like that). It would also be nice to have a scoring system where it combines the time it took them to complete the game, and have other elements affect the final score like additional "treasure" pickups and the number of deaths the player has. So instead of an ending screen of "hope you enjoyed playing," it also gives the player the reminder of "here's how suckily you completed the game!" while throwing a bunch of numbers at them.

For some reason, players enjoy a final series of spontaneous numbers being thrown back at them. As it is, Rocket Car feels like a chore. Throw in some sort of tally, BAM, Rocket Car is a GAME.

I can even imagine players wanting to customize their cars as well. Just a silly little "custom vehicle" screen where the player can choose their car's color, shape, etc. Elements that don't affect gameplay per say, but allows the player to individualize their own gameplay experience.

You'll be surprised how simply throwing in a couple hours to a "custom car" screen will dramatically influence the score of a game. Because players looooove customizing. Almost as much as they love poptarts on rainy days. Almost. Not quite.

Everything else holds together well. Graphically, it's simple but has a solid color scheme that allows all the important elements to stick out. It flows nicely, looks sharp, and maintains a discernible sense of humor consistently.

This definitely was 30 minutes well spent. 5/5.

Score: 8

"Pretty good game with a lot of promise."

submission: Blackhole Trek

date: March 13, 2007

What's Great:

The game itself is novel. You pilot a ship that essentially fires its own weapons, so it's like a sort of multi-crew simulator where you don't assume absolute control of the ship, but can still be really immersed into the game environment. I always like that feeling when playing a game; like you're not a single-man army but a part of a functioning squad of people depending upon your movement.

What's All Right:

I have some reservations about the color scheming of the game, where pickups that should be retrieved blend in too well with belligerent object to be avoided. I found the autogun to be for the most part not interesting enough to be upgraded, and feel that if it had some more oomph to it, more aesthetic kick, I'd be doing otherwise. Maybe a quicker stream of projectiles at the expense of damage per shot (same damage per duration, just cooler looking)? Perhaps it's rotated not by the mouse but by the arrow keys so we don't have to go 350 degrees to go 10 counter-clockwise?

I think that the bombs could also use more kick in the higher levels. At first, they just pop harmlessly, and the only visual difference in higher levels is an increase in the scale of the blast. Maybe if the blast animation was changed up after a few levels, to make it more sophisticated and stronger looking. Same thing with the gun. Change the projectile graphic when it passes certain levels.

Players love a visual representation of progress from their boom sticks.

What needs work:

What the game mostly needs more than anything is simply content. There are plenty of enemies, but the player remains constant throughout the whole game.

The control of the autogun as is makes it easily forgettable while playing. I just went straight for upgrading my bombs.

I did suffer a few quirks with the shields. Some enemies would destroy me instantly upon touch, sapping my shield dry without killing them, too. And if contact with an enemy doesn't kill that enemy, it leaves the player really unsatisfied with an inability to kamikazee their hapless foes. Trust me, that complaint came in NON-STOP with Twilight Valkyrie, and thus, it's become a maxim in my game design bible.

Lastly, the raw materials would be better if they came from the obstacles themselves instead of forming from off screen. It gives incentive for the player to destroy these enemies, and it makes it more apparent that they are powerups that should be retrieved. Other powerups from enemies could also include temporary invulnerability, weapon boosts, or even ammunition for a third "super bomb" type. You know, those screen-clearance weapons that are always awesome cool, like the ship warps out, Thor declares war on the vicinity, smoldering wreckage ensues, and the ship warps back in all "sup buddies wud' I miss?"

Players LOOOOOVE Thor.

Good luck on the next incarnation. And as always, kick me when it gets completed. This is a game variant that certainly has the capacity to perk one's addiction.

Score: 9

"Very neat."

submission: The Camel Spider

date: February 23, 2007

This from Wikipedia:

"In the Middle East, it was once rumored among American and coalition military forces stationed there that Solifugae will feed on living human flesh. The story goes that the creature will inject some anaesthetizing venom into the exposed skin of its sleeping victim, then feed voraciously, leaving the victim to awaken with a gaping wound. Solifugae, however, do not produce such an anaesthetic, and they do not attack prey larger than themselves unless threatened. Other stories include tales of them leaping into the air, disemboweling camels, eerie hissing, screaming, and running alongside humvees; all of these tales are false, apparently told to new recruits in order to frighten them, to the amusement of the veterans.

Due to their bizarre appearance many people are startled or even afraid of them. However, the greatest threat they pose to humans is their bite in self-defense when one tries to handle them. There is no chance of death directly caused by the bite, but, due to the strong muscles of their chelicerae, they can produce a proportionately large, ragged wound which is prone to infection."

--===<X>
THE MORE
YOU KNOW.

Awesome work by the way. Definitely a fiver. It just goes to show that the best movies contain only three lines: "Hmm, BAAAAAH!, and YE-OOOW!!" No need for "hey there's a big spider over there, I'm gonna shoot it" no just look at it and shoot it.

What I like the most is, in fact, what is NOT in the movie. No stupid extensive opening credits, no stupid extensive closing credits. Just "*whoomp*, sup buddies, here's m'name."

Score: 9

"Awesome work."

submission: the Echo

date: February 21, 2007

The message remains strong and prominent throughout, establishing frm the begininning and maintaining it throughout. The simple nature of the animation is strong, as it does not need to depend upon complexity to wow the viewer. I see the style as being a throwback to the stylization of Feudal Japan. You got my attention, maintained it throughout, and I got a satisfying rush of ecstacy upon conclusion. From an animator's standpoint, you have achieved your objectives.

Message, delivery, emotion, and moral all come in the package, and it need not be required to deliver any more.

Congrats on the daily 3rd and weekly 3rd. Which those awards could've gone even higher, but here's hoping to the next piece.

Score: 0

"I hate these games."

submission: Hentai Math

date: February 16, 2007

I hate these stupid games. You put no effort into it. All you did was create a proverbial "slide show" where the only proficiency in Flash scripting is gotoAndStop. You have no artistic talent. Your layouts throughout are attrocious. You don't even have the decency to properly resize the images to prevent them from dithering or to reduce the memory volume to warrant a faster download. Waste, waste, waste.

Then.

Worst of all, you use images that aren't even your's. You just rip, steal, and infringe upon real artists, with real talent, who have real hours of practice and study beneath them and make these images for money. And you just steal them all, lump them into a game, and expect to take credit for it. No. Not anymore. Not with me.

Take away the images you STOLE, and what do you have? A crappy zero-rate math game with a horrendous composition and layout. You have numbers going into new lines, breaking up, making no sense. You don't even have the decency to properly align the text, you just crap it out and expect it to fly.

This is a horrible example of Flash. Horrible. It's way too late to blam, but do humanity a favor and delete it yourself.

Score: 7

"Not really my thing."

submission: Elektra's Sex Toys

date: January 27, 2007

While I'm no stranger to the hentai gaming community (heck, what position to I have to hold judgment as the creator of 20,109,600,000 Pinups), I guess that all potential criticisms I may have of the title can be summed up in the fact that I can't get over the fact that you're doing these things to a fox. A woodland animal. I never really considered "furoticism" my thing.

Yet that being said, I think it's very unfair on my behalf to dock a game's score just because it doesn't meet my own criteria. Just a simple look on the surface shows that it does what hentai games to best with a super simple layout, incredibly easy interface, and keeps emphasis upon where emphasis is most needed.

The wank factor.

Granted people wank to this. I feel so excluded.

Graphics get high marks for prowess, maintaining a consistent theme, and staying well above par for other titles of this nature.

Style gets okay marks, because though it doesn't have any visual quirks or irregularities, I do think that some parts could use a little more polish.

Sound is middle of the road. Then again, wouldn't expect much around sound from a title like this anyway. Nothing's exploding, no fast paced action, it's all determined by the speed of the player.

Violence...well, I hate that grading mechanic. Because violence is, apparently, a valid measurement of a game's quality.

Interactivity isn't set that high, as I feel it to still be more of an interactive slide show than anything. It's button driven. It doesn't carry very intensive scripting to drive the game. While such a simplistic delivery is, albeit, expected from a title like this, I still think it would be beneficial for the more subtle elements of the game to carry more advanced scripting.

Humor is also marked low, as humor doesn't seem to be the emphasis of the game. Now, if one of the toys was a midget in letherjosen that mountaineers up to her shoulders and declares "I claim this peak in the name of the Rhineland", then the humor would be skyrocketing into the triple digits grade.

But overall, it does what it does, and stands above the average. It's just a pity that screwin' Maid Maryann (from Disney's Robin Hood) isn't very high on my priorities list.

Final grade: B

Score: 3

"Didn't enjoy it."

submission: Linerider the Movie

date: January 27, 2007

I just didn't like the animation of it. It seemed very linear, and didn't have any sort of anticipation or follow-through. It was just, I don't know, very mediocre. Hard to believe. It didn't carry the satisfying punch.

The timing also wasn't that great. It spent too much time on one particular gag.

Visually, it was amateurish. It just looked too much like Flash, but had no polish to give it a distinct visual style. So, in summation, atrocious animation, bad timing, and sub par visual style. It's a really great concept that needs a much better execution.

Score: 7

"Simple but delicious."

submission: The BUTTONS!

date: September 28, 2006

So it's not a groundbreaking game, but it's still a time occupier. I think it's one of those games that has a good concept driving it, where you go in the direction the buttons point in, but it could use some more polish. It looks very, let's say, 2001. It could definitely use a visual overhaul. But as for gameplay itself, it's there.

3/5